I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
