similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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