weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize