those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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