If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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