It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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