Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
