it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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