Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
