my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
