dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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