just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
