I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My breasts were aching with rage.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize