best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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