I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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