note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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