Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
