I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
