I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just wanna soil my oats bro
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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