One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
