but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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