yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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