I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
