I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
