ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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