and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize