we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize