i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
