Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
