I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
