Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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