I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
