i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize