you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
