i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
