Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize