I love black thongs
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
