Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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