im gay
i know
yea but for you.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
