Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize