If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
