I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
