We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
