she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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