i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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