I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
