the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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