is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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