At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
