Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
