im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will pee on everything he values.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
