I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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