My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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