ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We have started to decorate penises.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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