Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
