Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
