Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You pole danced in your parka.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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