found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
