let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
