Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
