You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
