i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
