i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
