I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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